FOLKS FROM MAINE
You Know You're From Maine When...
You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and mustard.
You design your kid's Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit .
The mosquitoes have landing lights.
You have more miles on your snowblower than on your car.
You have 10 favorite recipes for moose meat.
You thought "Grumpy Old Men" was a documentary.
The hardware store on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
You live in a house that has no front steps, yet the door is three
feet above the ground.
You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes get filled with snow.
You think everyone from the city has an accent. .
You think sexy lingerie is fleece socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
You owe more money on your snowmobile than on your car.
The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page, but requires 6 pages for sports.
At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun..
Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
You think the start of moose season is a national holiday.
You head south to go to your cottage. .
You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't prowl on your deck.
You know which leaves make good toilet paper. .
The mayor greets you on the street by your first name.
There is only one shopping plaza in town. .
The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.
You find -60 a might chilly.
The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze. .
You attended a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewels and your Sorels.
You can play road hockey on skates.
You can tell the difference between a chipmunk and a squirrel from
300
yards away.
Shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout.
You know the 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and
Construction.
You actually "get" these jokes, and forward them to all your Maine friends!!!
YOU MIGHT BE FROM MAINE, if you own flannel
shirts.
YOU MIGHT BE FROM MAINE, if you know the back
roads.
YOU MIGHT BE FROM MAINE, if you own a pickup
truck.
YOU MIGHT BE FROM MAINE, if you attend church
suppers.
YOU MIGHT BE FROM MAINE, if you live in a white
cape.
YOU MIGHT BE FROM MAINE, if you say "Ames-es".
YOU MIGHT BE FROM MAINE, if you know everyone in town.
YOU MIGHT BE FROM MAINE, if you go to the dump on Saturday.
YOU MIGHT BE FROM MAINE, if you change the oil in our car yourself but.
YOU MIGHT BE FROM MAINE, if you buy a ticket to
the fireman's' ball.
YOU MIGHT BE FROM MAINE, if you carry a beeper.
YOU MIGHT BE FROM MAINE, if your uncle is the
chief of police.
Facts from Chuck Koller - See him about this.
Copyright 2002,2006 - Flash's Realm
YOU'RE CERTAINLY FROM MAINE, if you wear one with a tie.
YOU'RE CERTAINLY FROM MAINE, if you drive them to avoid the toll booth.
YOU'RE CERTAINLY FROM MAINE, if the truck is
4-wheel drive, has a gun rack, a plow on the front and
a dog in the back.
YOU'RE CERTAINLY FROM MAINE, if that's considered a night out on the town.
YOU'RE CERTAINLY FROM MAINE, if there is a picket fence around the house, a garden in the back, a
woodpile somewhere, some appliances on the front lawn,
and a rusty pick-up pushed into the woods.
YOU'RE CERTAINLY FROM MAINE, if you do all your shopping there.
YOU'RE CERTAINLY FROM MAINE, if they're all
related to you.
YOU'RE CERTAINLY FROM MAINE, if you leave with more than what you brought.
YOU'RE CERTAINLY FROM MAINE, if you pour it
into the fenders and the doors when you're done.
YOU'RE CERTAINLY FROM MAINE,
if you actually attend.
YOU'RE CERTAINLY FROM MAINE, if the only time it goes off is when there's a fire in town.
YOU'RE CERTAINLY FROM MAINE, if he's also the road agent, dog catcher, dump keeper, town clerk and a
selectman.